Monday, June 05, 2006
dilys aka dee
i used to whine alot n even feel useless when i was forbided to work during the hols. mom told me to list my priorities n note wad's really important at that time wen i was learning how to drive. plus, with all the application works for uni undone, she thought i should really sit down at home, infront of the com, n apply for my uni cautiously. my room's not packed, blah blah blah. the things i need to complete at home go down the list, never ending.
even after i got my license, mom tot i should stay home n practise how to drive on the road. rest more while i can since uni life is reckoned to b rather hectic n there'll be no extra time for leisure shopping.
when there're temp jobs available, i'll have to find reasons to cajole her b4 i could commit myself to the job. n jobs had to come at that particular time when it'll clash with wadeva appointments i've. there, another reason for mom to snap at me.
i love serenity. the act of me slacking ard, bumming ard n just strolling along the tranquil pavements of various shopping centres pleases me. i miss those days when i sat infront of my window, at my study table, replying letters to my pals. now, my study table's so messy that i refuse to take an extra look at it unless im forced to. in another 2 months or so, this peace would be disrupted n i no longer habour the thought that i'll be living my life the way it is right now. i'll be hastening my pace, twice the speed of wad im going now. so this is actually quite a good time to slack n charge myself up.
on the contrary, even as much as i love serenity n would not want to interrupt the solace im enjoying, it gets boring sometimes, especially when all your friends are out working, paying for their own expenses n here u are, lying on the bed, picking up a book habitually n begin to waste ur time. so this is when i feel useless n my high spirits take a deeeep dive down into the dumps. i could start questioning my own ability n start to imagine my life if i were to be working. i would have met new friends n got my bank n cpf account rolling. wad a nice scene to picture.
im stubborn, as xj puts it occasionally. i want things the way i wanted n i'll resent anybody who tries to change it for me, even though many would think being jobless n being able to sit back n relax is actually quite a blessing, i think otherwise.
as much as i wanted to find a job, im still rather lazy to do so. n i would definitely get objections from my mom abt sch's starting n there's no need for me to work now.
after i graduate in 4 years time, i'll have to work everyday till the day i retire. so wad's the hurry? i'll never get a holiday so long after this period. why not enjoy it n do something i've always wanted to do?
arent i weird? sometimes, i dun even understand myself.
i like to call it unique
wishing;
6/05/2006 03:55:00 PM
